Is Not Having Sex Normal?

I’m a licensed therapist in the West Hollywood / Los Angeles area who specializes in relationship and dating challenges. Let me cut to the chase and tell you that it is completely normal for an individual to not have sex for any period of time.

As a Los Angeles relationship-focused therapist, I’ve worked with many individuals who are worried that not having sex or not wanting to have sex is ‘abnormal' or ‘wrong.’ 

Western media has created a somewhat-idealized picture of sex that is not true or even natural for many people. We’ve had it drummed into us that you ‘must have sex three times a week and orgasm every time’ in order to be considered 'normal' or ‘healthy.’ This idea has been exacerbated by companies trying to sell more magazines, their hocus-pocus product solutions, or to seduce you into visiting their website through clickbait.

Being sexually active is a personal choice, and every individual’s level of interest in sex can vary throughout the day, week, month, or even lifetime.  Some people may choose to not be sexually active for a variety of reasons. Some of these could include religious or moral beliefs, trauma, personal preference, asexuality, or lack of access to a consensual partner.

It's important to remember that there is no 'normal' when it comes to sexual behavior, and everyone's preferences are different and valid. What's important is that you make choices that feel right for you and that you feel good about yourself and your choices. However, sometimes it can be hard to identify the difference between your own, personal preferences and what is a core belief that's been forced on you by society or peer pressure.

If you’re not at ease with the state (on non-state) of your sex life, it can rob you of confidence and erode your self-esteem. Your current sex life may actually be the way you want it to be, but if you’re anxious about whether that’s considered ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’, it can still wreak havoc with your mental health.

Identifying your needs and desire and then finding peace with those is an important part of your mental health. Our society has stigmatized talking about sex, to the point that many people don’t feel comfortable talking openly about sex, unless it’s in the context of a joke. You deserve more than this!

If you want to explore your sexual awareness, desire, needs, and preferences, talking to a qualified therapist who specializes in relationships, both with yourself and others, can make a huge difference to the confidence and peace you feel. 

I am the founder of Therapy For Adults, a specialized therapy practice in Los Angeles, California. I would love to help you find the inner peace that’s been eluding you! I offer you a safe space, with no judgement, just compassionate listening and personalized guidance to help you achieve your sexual and relationship goals. 

Reach out today to schedule your first session with me at Therapy For Adults at a time that works for you.