Why You’re Feeling Unsure About Your Relationship
If you’re questioning your bond with your partner, you’re not alone. It’s normal to have doubts about your relationship at times. After all, relationships are hard and no one is perfect. Some degree of uncertainty can be good. It means you’re thinking critically about you and your partner, and it shows that you’re putting real thought into whether you both are compatible with each other.
However, being consumed with doubt about your relationship can be a red flag. While some level of conflict or differences is normal, you should be overall satisfied with your relationship.
It can be especially unsettling when you can’t quite put your finger on what bothers you about the relationship. You might feel like you need to name a specific problem, or else you’re just “crazy” or making it up--which isn’t the case. Relationship issues are not often simple or straightforward, and your feelings are valid.
Ready to address your unsureness in relationships with a Los Angeles couples therapist?
In this post, we’ll cover some of the potential reasons why you’re feeling unsure about your relationship. You can use these as a jumping-off point for further reflection.
Let’s dive in.
Why Am I Feeling Unsure About My Relationship?
There can be many different reasons why you might be feeling uncertain about the dynamic between you and your partner. Here are some things to consider.
You Lack Trust With Your Partner
Trust is a foundational element of any relationship. Without trust, it is difficult--if not impossible--to have a functional, healthy relationship.
Has your partner broken your trust in some way? Your mind may jump immediately to infidelity when you hear this question. While that is certainly a breach of trust, it is not the only way that trust can be negatively affected.
Maybe you have been unable to rely on them to show up for you physically or emotionally, or maybe they cannot be honest about their feelings. Trust is wrapped up in all of these issues, and more.
On the other hand, have you been keeping your partner at a distance? Putting up a wall around your heart does not allow your partner into your emotional world, making it challenging to build trust.
If you don’t trust your partner--either because of their actions, your own, or both--it makes sense that you’d feel unsure about your relationship.
You Have Trouble Communicating
It makes sense to have doubts about your relationship if you feel like you can’t talk to your partner. Like trust, communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. Both people in a relationship should be able to go to each other with thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It’s important to feel supported by your partner. It’s also important to be able to talk about issues with your partner so that they can be worked through.
Without communication, these things can build up and lead to resentment. This may be where some of your uncertainty about your relationship is coming from. Keep in mind that no one is born with perfect communication strategies--they can be learned if you and your partner are willing to practice.
You Need To Get To Know Them (And Yourself) Better
There’s a reason why we refer to the beginning of a relationship as the honeymoon period. When you’re just starting out with a new partner, it can be easy to get wrapped up in all of the great things about them.
The excitement of a new beginning and hope for the future can feel amazing. However, your heart may be taking the lead over your head. Your judgment and reason can be clouded by infatuation for your new partner. When that starts to fade, you may be left feeling uncertain about the relationship. They’re no longer this “perfect” person you thought they were--so does that mean the relationship is doomed?
Not necessarily. You may just need more time to get to know them in order to get a feel for what they’re really like. You may also need more time to reflect on what exactly you want in a relationship, and whether this person can fulfill that role.
You Have Different Lifestyles
Being similar to your partner is not a requirement of a healthy, happy relationship. In fact, many couples have different personalities, interests, and ways of thinking. However, if you and your partner are on completely different pages with most things, it can be difficult to foster a strong bond with them.
It’s important to weigh your differences to consider how they may impact your relationship in the long run. For instance, do they love partying while you prefer to stay away from substances? Do they feel strongly about starting a family? These types of differences can cause significant strain in a relationship as they represent completely different lifestyles.
On the other hand, differences such as taste in food, hobbies, or personality traits may be more workable in the long run--or they may not.
It’s important for both you and your partner to be honest with how you feel about each other’s differences. Otherwise, you might continue to feel unsure about your relationship.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Uncover Why You’re Feeling Unsure About Your Relationship
It can be difficult to make sense of your feelings on your own. Working with a relationship therapist can help you explore how you’re truly feeling about your relationship. As a Los Angeles Couples Therapist, I help both individuals and couples navigate all different types of relationship issues. Some of my specialties include relationship issues related to anxiety, depression, addiction, infidelity, and general dating problems.
There is no reason to be ashamed of meeting with a therapist. In fact, reaching out for support is one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself in a time of need.
You don’t have to figure this all out on your own. I’m happy to support you in exploring your feelings as well as learning skills to have more effective relationships.
Begin Meeting With a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles, CA For Couples Counseling or Relationship and Dating Issues
Are you feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship? Take the first step towards clarity and healing by seeking guidance from me, Steven Reigns, a couples therapist at Therapy for Adults. Invest in your relationship today and discover the tools and support needed to navigate challenges, deepen your connection, and find the love and understanding you both deserve in couples counseling.
Contact me to schedule a free consultation
Meet with me, Steven Reigns couples therapist, in your first session
Navigate the challenges in your relationship in a positive and healing way!
Other Counseling Services I Offer in Los Angeles
In addition to couples counseling, I offer dating coaching and therapy for dating and relationship issues. Additionally, I help highly sensitive people process their uniqueness and appreciate their surroundings and rich internal life. All of these services are available through online therapy throughout California.
If you’d like to learn more about how I can help either through couples therapy or therapy for dating or relationship issues, or if you’d like to schedule your first appointment, contact me today.
