Part II of Date Night Suggestions for West LA from a Couples Therapist
It’s not uncommon, as a couples therapist in Los Angeles, for me to hear from members of the West LA community. What’s surprised me is how much input I’ve gotten from my article
Couples Therapist Gives Date Night Suggestions for West Los Angeles.
I’ve gotten emails asking for more suggestion or giving their suggestions of places I neglected to put on the list of West Los Angeles hangouts for couples.
Will doing these things solve marital discord? Will doing these things help solve issues of infidelity or betrayal? No. These activities will bring a sense of playfulness and relaxation into your relationship, especially if your relationship has been fraught with arguments and anxiety.
Before we dive into my list as a Los Angeles couples therapist, I’d like to review an additional reason why another therapy article on this subject is important. It has to do with how we respond during connections.
Common Attachment Styles in Relationships
If you are dating or in a relationship with a partner, that activates your internal attachment system (this usually happens between anxious attached and avoidantly attached persons.) Activities can be extremely helpful when relating. What follows is an overly simplified summary of attachment styles:
Anxiously Avoidant People: want relationships yet feel stiffed or claustrophobic once in one. They might have strong feelings for their partner but retreat to avoid feeling suffocated or merged.
Securely Attached People: want relationships and find the “getting to know you” process easier and are more relaxed as the relationship unfolds. Securely attached people are roughly 50% of the population and tend to stay in relationships longer, so there are fewer securely attached people single and dating.
Anxiously Attached People: Want relationships and closeness yet get scared of hurt or that the relationship will end. Anxiously attached people will not only scrutinize texts and conversations for meaning but also the rate and response time.
The Challenges of Each Attachment Style:
It is important not to assign value to these styles. There is no good or bad attachment style. What is important is recognizing your style and the style of your partner. This increased awareness will help the both of you communicate and navigate through your relationship.
Avoidant and Anxiously attached people find relationships to be a struggle and challenging. When people with these styles date, they are both emotionally activated and challenged. As an attachment relationship therapist in Los Angeles, I suggest date nights that are activities and divert attention from the relationship to an outside event. Though someone anxiously attached might want to discuss relationship conflict, date nights with an avoidant person are best when having an experience with your partner.
Date Night Suggestions for West Los Angeles:
This article fills in the gaps from the previous Couples Counselor Gives Date Night Suggestions for West Los Angeles. with a focus on attachment therapy and what could be helpful for couples with different attachment styles. Special thanks to Rebecca, Dennis, and PA for their suggestions for some of the following places.
Santa Monica Flea Market:
Located in the old Santa Monica airport terminal, this flea market is packed with vendors from Los Angeles and beyond. Even if you’re not looking for something to buy, the shopping experience can be entertaining. Treat the wears as if in a museum or prompts to go down memory lane. What a great opportunity as a couple to get to know details about your partner’s life you might not have known. You might learn what their lunchbox looked like in the third grade because they’ll see one and point it out.
This happens the 1st and 4th Sunday of the month at Santa Monica Airport, 3050 Airport Ave., Santa Monica, 90405
Driving Ranges, Golf Courses & Mini-Golf:
Try out new things on your date, or if you are familiar with an activity, show your partner what you might know. This is especially true if you have nothing invested in whatever it is you’re sampling or trying out. There are two golf course suggestions in West LA. Both of these facilities have clubs you can rent to play a full game. If a full game might be too intense for starters, so maybe try the driving range. Rancho Park and Mar Vista courses also have snack bars where you can eat and talk after your adventure.
Rancho Park Golf Course:
This 18-hole, par 72 course sits near Pico-Robertson and Cheviot Hills. This is where to go for an extended, full golf game.
Penmar Golf Course:
Los Angeles Magazine named this Mar Vista gem as Los Angeles’s Best 9-Hole Course. It’s a great course to walk and the 9-hole course will take half as much time as the Cheviot Hills course.
Mini-Golf:
If such serious golf intimidates you, consider heading north of WLA on the 405 to Sherman Oaks for The City of Los Angeles Department of Recreation and Parks Sherman Oaks Castle Park. Sorry to say there is no minigolf on the west side of Los Angeles. At Castle Park, you will still hold a club in your hands but will be surrounded by animations, Astroturf, and fairytale architecture.
Beautiful Gardens:
Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden:
This is taking a romantic couple’s walk to the next level. This garden is on UCLA’s campus in Westwood, next to Bel-Air. This is not just the most comprehensive sculpture garden in West LA but in the United States. It is run by The Hammer Museum. It has over 70 sculptures by artists who have made an impact on our culture, such as Henri Matisse, Auguste Rodin, and Isamu Noguchi (yes—he did more than design your favorite coffee table!!)
Virginia Robinson Gardens:
Another active walk for a couple could be in Beverly Hills at this lush garden built in 1911. It is open to the public and listed on the National Register of Historic Places. It’s an interesting view of Los Angeles and Beverly Hills history seen through the creation of Mrs. Robinson, who was once known as the “first lady of Beverly Hills.” Located at 1008 Elden Way Beverly Hills, CA 90210
Catch Some SOCAL Waves Together:
Sunrise Surf Academy:
Based in Pacific Palisades, The Sunrise Surf Academy has been helping people learn how to surf for years. They give the option of learning how to surf in Venice Beach, Marina del Rey, or Will Rogers State Beach.
Marina del Rey Boat Rental:
If both of you like the idea of being in the California sun in SOCAL waves but getting wet, head over to Marina del Ray for the highly rated Marina del Rey Boat Rental. There you can rent power boats but also jet skis and kayaks. Even a quick excursion on the water can help the most conflicted couple with perspective on their arguments and connection.
(Couples interested in attachment theory therapy and ocean activities will appreciate a future article that uses the metaphors of anchors, waves, and islands to help conceptualize attachment styles and interactions between them. Keep an eye out for that! )
Attachment Style & Dating Connection:
Feed Your Relationship
On Sunday mornings and afternoons, visit the Pacific Palisades Farmers Market. This west la location was created by a non-profit operator for California Certified Farmers’ Markets. Help local farmers by buying locally and help yourself by getting healthy foods grown without pesticides.
Breathe Together
In Brentwood, you could sign up for meditation classes at Unplug. They have an app but as a couples therapist, I suggest getting out together and visiting their studio in Brentwood.
Try a Different Kind of Meditation:
This isn’t guided by a narrative but by sound. Also in Brentwood is Shaktis Sound Bath. Guided by Ana Netanel, have an audio and body experience together as she utilizes bowls to create a cacophony of sound.
Wrap up of Part II of Couples Therapist Gives Date Night Suggestions for West Los Angeles.
All of the above activities have a focus outside of the relationship. This is purposeful, as the list was created for couples with different attachment styles. Please know that the anxious partner might want to talk or process related relationship issues. This urge is fueled by a desire to connect and find calm. However, by doing an activity together this connection can also be reached organically and have the avoidantly attached person feel comfortable.
As always, issues of attachment style are complicated and complex. There is no way one article can encapsulate everything. I encourage couples struggling to reach out to Therapy For Adults. Sessions are 50 min and catered specially to each couple.
Strengthen your Relationship with Support from a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles
Date nights can help rekindle or strengthen your relationship, but sometimes it's more effective to seek couples therapy. A relationship therapist can help you identify and overcome struggles between you and your partner.
You can improve your relationship's communication or repair ongoing issues by following these steps:
Reach out with questions, or feel free to schedule a consultation
Schedule your first appointment at Therapy for Adults
Start improving communication with your partner
Other Therapy Services Offered in Los Angeles
You may not be married, but you may feel your relationship needs support to thrive? That's okay. Couples therapy is available for people who are dating, engaged, or married. Looking for a relationship that will last? Dating coaching can help you do that. As well as providing relationship support, I also offer support for anxiety and highly sensitive individuals. All of these services are available through online therapy throughout California.
